Ask HK
by jubileebird
Summary: The title does an excellent job of summarising the story, I do recommend that you read it. Rated T, to be safe.
1. Chapter 1

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Hetalia, Hong Kong, or a panda, unless plushies count.

So I wanted to do something like what Eylenda did, because Hong Kong is my RP character, I'm her HK, and he's insanely fun to RP, and I do know a lot about China, Japan and HK in general, since I /am/ Chinese, and come from somewhere near Hong Kong, and all... feel free to ask anything, embarrass him, whatever. Have fun! 3

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As he sat cross-legged on his bed on his tiny apartment, Hong Kong turned on his laptop and hit the button for his webcam, setting it to record video. Once he'd adjusted all the settings to his liking and made sure it was working and everything, he set it down and turned it on the record, staring rather blankly at the screen for a moment before closing his eyes and letting out a sigh. Opening them again, he started, "...So. Wei. Hong Kong here. Uhm... Yeah. So. My boss found about about Iceland's 'answer questions and do dares' thing, and he thought it would be a good idea for me to do so, too..." The Asian shrugged. "...Yeah. Ask me whatever, about me, my relations to the rest of the world, about Hong Kong, about my boss, who, by the way, is named Donald." That last bit was probably revenge for having to do something like this in the first place.

"I think that's it. I'll try to get back to your questions as quickly as I can, whenever I get a decent amount of them, and I'll do dares, too. Iceland, this is /not/ an opportunity for you to dare me to do stupid things." He frowned a bit, then looked off to the side, leaning down to scoop his baby panda into his arms.

"...Oh, and Jia Jia says hi." The panda mewed cheerfully, waving, and poked Xue in the cheek as he put her down on his lap and flashed a V-sign at the camera. "...See ya."

He turned it off, and settled down to wait.

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So... I'm basically going to rely on questions from here to write chapters, fff. Review, please!


	2. Chapter 2

Hong Kong flipped through the comments of the video he'd uploaded, smiling slightly at some, giving weird looks to others, and just staring at others. Though he'd read the comments, he decided not to make a new video just yet, instead preferring to spend the majority of the day on Maplestory making money off of rare drops, and the next day on Touhou and Starcraft, and on watching Kung Fu Hustle again. And of course, both days, he worked on the paperwork all countries seemed to have, though he wasn't even a country. Besides, his work was mostly math and statistics.

On the third day, his boss called and scolded him for procrastinating on making another video.

Accordingly, the tall Asian got up, procrastinated for half a day more by going out and wandering, before going back to his apartment with bubble tea (Taro flavour, large) and, opening his laptop again, pulled up the list of questions and hitting the webcam button.

He paused, tilting his head at the camera for a moment, chewing on tapioca, then swallowed and began, "... Okay, so... here I am, to answer what questions you're asking... Ah, hold on." He leaned away from the camera, and his voice could be heard, annoyed, saying, "Jia Jia, get /away/ from my bubble tea, it's not yours, and I'm not even sure if you're supposed to drink bubble tea..." A few minutes later, he reappeared in view, holding a squirming panda, who looked equally annoyed. "...Sorry, Jia here is used to getting her own way, and she doesn't understand that she can't always have what she wants." Hong Kong gave her a pointed look, then put her back down.

"...Anyway, questions, questions... The first one is from- Dammit, Iceland, I thought I told you to stay the hell away from this thing. He's asking, 'Who's your BESTEST FRIEND IN THE WHOLE WORLD?' And yes, 'bestest friend in the whole world' was capitalised." Xue just stared at the webcam for a moment, face impassive, before looking away and muttering, "...It's you, now shut up and stop commenting on this thing."

He frowned a little, then clicked over to the next comment, his eyes moving as he read it, then sat back, picked up his bubble tea (frustrating Jia Jia in the process, who had been about to try another sip) and tilted his head, sighing. "...Why are countries commenting on this more than people are? This next question thing is from New Zealand; hey there, sis, how are you? She asks... well, the actual question is 'Why is it that we never seem to have any contact anymore?'" Hong Kong paused for a moment, taking another sip of bubble tea, then answered thoughtfully, "...Well, I have a lot to do, I actually don't play video games all day... If you want to drop by, though, you're welcome to, but leave the sheep home, please. I don't want it to get eaten, or something." How blunt, Xue. Even if it was true. He looked at the comment again, then added, "...Fine, you're allowed to hug me."

Hong Kong sighed, then stretched, reading the third comment. "...Okay, so, this is from _AttoliaxKonoha06_. I'm glad you're happy my boss is forcing me to do that, that makes two people. And yes, Ice, the other one is you. The first question was, 'I know you've probably been asked about what it was like to live with England, so I'll try to be creative and ask instead: Did you have to drink tea all the time? Did you like it? HOW THE HELL DID YOU SURVIVE HIS COOKING? I mean, I know you guys are like immortal, but still!'"

Xue chuckled quietly, amused, but calmed himself quickly, and answered mildly, "... Well, I drank tea a lot before I went to live with England, since Da Ge- that means big brother, in Chinese- and Kiku-nii drink tea a lot, too. It's just that Arthur makes his tea differently, so I got used to both kinds of tea. It's not like I didn't like drinking tea all the time, I like it, I mean, I'm drinking it now..." He indicated his half-empty cup of bubble tea. "And his food..." Xue made a face. "...I knew how to cook a little, from Da Ge, and I made my own food a lot, from recipe books Arthur had lying around. And I learned from France, Portugal, Spain..."

"So, your next question... 'You and China are different people, but both part of the same country. Is this anything like the relationship Italy has to Vatican City which is it's own little country...thingy...but is also part of Italy?' ...Well. We have a phrase for what Da Ge and I have, 'One country, two systems.' I have no idea what Italy has with old man Vatican, but if you want the basic gist of it, we have seperate economies, and governments, but ultimately, I do answer to China, and he takes care of foreign relations, and defense. I don't know if this arrangement's going to last, though, since it's only for at least 50 years... I don't know what's going to happen, in 2047." He shrugged.

"...Last question. 'I live in Massachusetts and we aren't allowed to have fireworks here, but I've heard you have like THE BEST fireworks ever. Can I visit you and light a firework?' ...Massachusetts, Massachusetts... ah, so you're one of Alfred's right? Just checking. Well, Attolia. I set fireworks off a /lot/, especially during tourist season, over Victoria Harbour, and Disneyland sets off a lot, too. Not to mention I bothered Arthur a lot with them... Ah, it was worth it. But the practice helps, and it's fun, as long as you don't get burned, or hit in the face with one or anything like that. Feel free to visit, and be careful, and you might want to start with small stuff, like firecrackers or sparklers, first."

He shrugged, moving the bubble tea away from his panda as she reached for it, again. ".../No/, Jia, no tea for you. And... ah, that was the last of the questions, feel free to keep them coming. What else is there... Oh, right. Iceland, since I know you'll be watching this no matter what I say, I dare you to say, on /your/ next video, that 'Hong Kong is the sexiest thing in the universe.'" He flashed the camera a smirk, then made a V-sign. "...Hong Kong Special Administrative Region of the People's Republic of China, out."

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I enjoy typing his full name out, since it's so /long/. xD Doesthatmakemeweird?

Thank you for asking questions, feel free to bombard him with more, read and review!


	3. Chapter 3

Hello, everyone!

I'm tremendously sorry I haven't updated in a while. Truth be told, I'd nearly forgotten I had a fanfiction account, but not entirely, so lo and behold, new chapter! My apologies to everyone who's been kept waiting.

Before I let you go on to the chapter, I'm going to make a note here: as per Himapapa's new canon, Hong Kong's human names will be as follows: Wong Kha-Long in Cantonese Chinese (Wang Jia-Long in Mandarin) and Leon Wong in English. I shan't go back and change his name in the previous chapters, since they were written before Himaruya released HK's names.

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"Are you serious, there is more..." Kha-Long suppressed a mighty sigh and glanced out the window into the humid, near-tropical weather of Hong Kong in the summer. At times like this, he almost wished for monsoons- at least the rain would lower the tempature a little.

"A change in leader does not mean you are exempt from this duty," came the voice of his new boss over the speaker of Kha-Long's iPhone, loud and clear and irritating. "It will be a good way for you to connect with our people. Of course, we expect your responses will be appropriate, yes?"

Kha-Long scowled at the window. "I have other duties. Duties that don't involve bantering with my siblings and friends because have you seen the first few questions, they are, like, all from New Zealand and Iceland and I do not see how that will foster relations with my people..."

There was a patient sigh, as if his boss was thinking that Kha-Long was some sort of awkward teenager who liked to procrastinate and just needed to be guided or something. Which was totally not true, okay, Hong Kong might have been a awkward teenager physically, but he still had a good two thousand years on his new boss, who was annoying him already.

"It's expected that this coming typhoon will be bad enough to merit a level ten warning," said his boss, stern, and Kha-Long hated that tone, it reminded him of China and England telling him what to do. "In which case you have the day off tomorrow. I suggest you use your time effectively."

There was a click, and then the little tune that meant that the call had disconnected. Kha-Long flung the iPhone onto his bed, and stalked off (ten steps to the left and around his mini fridge, and he had to step over a pile of laundry he'd been meaning to do on the way) to retrieve his laptop, which had been open to the Olympics, and clicked over to his blog. Orders were orders- just because he was a nation (sort of) didn't mean he got to skive off of orders. After all, people all over the world had bosses they didn't like.

"OK, so," he sighed, pulling up the webcam programme and the list of comments and sliding on his headset. Then he paused. His annoyance with his boss had nothing to do with the people he'd be addressing, and it would be rude to sound miffed at them. Hong Kong closed his eyes, breathing in and out lightly for a minute or so, before he let the camera start rolling.

"What's up," he said onto the microphone on his headset, making a short, small wave at the camera. "Hong Kong, here again to answer life's greatest mysteries and also your deepest, darkest questions about me." The corner of his mouth twitched upward slightly in a little smile, and he leant forward to scan the first question.

"This first one is from Rina, who gets an award for, like, not being Iceland and commenting on this to make fun of me. She asks, '_So, how was life like in England's house? Was it boring, or did you have fun stuff to do_ _there?' _Well, Rina..." He trailed off for a moment and leant back in his seat, looking thoughtful. "It wasn't the worst thing in the world, sort of. I mean, England was, like, king of the jerks when I was little, but I was never out of playmates or anything because half the world is related to England in one way or another..." He gave the camera a small, wry smile. "Let's just say I was never bored and leave it at that, yeah?"

Kha-Long sat up again to read the next comment, looking faintly alarmed by the time he'd finished. "OK, this is from my bro New Zealand, who apparently has plans to visit me, which is okay, but, like, no hugs, okay? Not prepared. Probably will never be prepared. Spare me." He made a face before continuing, "And his question is if I prefer to speak Cantonese slash Chinese or English." He looked down briefly, before staring into the camera directly, absolutely deadpan.

"My answer is, I don't know." Kha-Long shrugged again. "I'm fluent in all three. Cantonese is my own language, and I choose it over Big Brother's Mandarin any day. But if it's a toss-up between Cantonese and English, I don't think I can choose. The rest of the world pretty much speaks English, and it's important to my economy, it keeps my trade going and stuff. I'm a city of two worlds, and I always will be- and having two official languages is seriously useful, so how could I choose?"

Hong Kong shook his head after the little speech and reached offscreen to grab a bottle of milk tea, which he downed half of, while reading the third and final comment. "Hello, Iceland's sister," he said at last, flashing a slight smile at the camera. "What's up? I didn't even know Ice had a sister, Ice, you, like, have explanations to give me and introductions to make now. Is your sister cute like you?" He chuckled quietly before moving on.

"So, she asks, '_What would you do if you had all of your firecrackers taken away for a month'... _Like, make explosive things out of other stuff obviously." He grinned. "I'm normally not allowed to play with firecrackers and fireworks anymore anyway! But have you ever tried putting slugs into England's suitcase during World Conference?" Kha-Long smiled again at the memory. Good times.

"I think that's all the questions I've got so far." Hong Kong hovered his hand over the button to shut off his webcam. "See you, I guess. Oh, and they say Macau and I and places around us will be hit by a ton of rain and water soon, also if anyone watching this is one of ours, be careful, yeah?" He gave the camera one last wave, before shutting it off and uploading the file.

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And that's it for chapter three!

Again, I do rely on reviews to continue this, so please comtinue to send them my way! Questions and dares concerning anything you want, for Kha-Long and, if you want, for me. He whinges about it a lot, but I swear he really does enjoy talking to you all.

Thank you for reading!


End file.
